Missing the father, you never had. Missing that person, you never could really hate, but only love. Missing that one, who was always far away – the unreachable, the unknown, the misunderstood, the unworthy, the lonely one, your father. All you have left from him is this gold necklace with the small ruby flower. The one who sent you the best books of your childhood, to whom you wrote your first letters asking him to come back, the one, who even brought you once to school, which made you walk with your nose in the air, who gave you the time as a present – measured by his absence –…